Today Was A Good Day…….for Terminating Parental Rights

For 6 months I had to hold that baby's hands so he could go to sleep despite the nightmares.  How could his father think that Coconut would forget the pain he had caused?

For 6 months I had to hold that baby’s hands so he could go to sleep despite the nightmares. How could his father think that Coconut would forget the pain he had caused?

Coconut’s parents lost their parental rights today, and I have not the slightest of sympathetic feelings over it……..not even a twinge. Whatever sympathy I had for the parents who biologically produced our beautiful boy, went out the window as the pictures of his abuse were passed around in court this morning. After two long years, Coconut’s case has finally moved in the direction of adoption, and we are that much closer to keeping him forever.

Make no mistake, for a year I did feel for the parents. I prayed that they would show some sort of remorse, a feeling of regret, something that proved that their love for him would overshadow what they had done. Surely, they would move mountains to get their child back, letting nothing keep them from making restitution so that they could regain the privilege of raising him. When that didn’t happen, I simply wished that they would ASK about Coconut’s well-being, but that never came either. Instead, I was treated to an all-consuming selfishness from the mother, as she told me of all her troubles and hurdles, without any mention about missing her precious son. The father didn’t seem to care about anything, but seeing as he is in jail, I have never actually spoken to him…..and for that I am actually grateful, as I am not sure I would have been able to withstand a conversation with someone who is capable of doing so much physical and emotional damage to such a tiny child. A year and a half into this case, I finally realized that whatever tie they might have had with Coconut in the past, had most definitely been severed.

My husband with Coconut....they are watching my children and their friends playing in the ocean.  Whatever misgivings Dave had about having more children and fostering flew out the window when Coconut climbed into his heart!

My husband with Coconut….they are watching my children and their friends playing in the ocean. Whatever misgivings Dave had about having more children and fostering flew out the window when Coconut climbed into his heart!

One by one, the relatives dropped off in that first year as well. This past fall, everyone slowly stopped showing up for court. In the end, there was only the father standing, who has to be there as he is transported over from the jail……all other family members, his mother included, didn’t even bother with an apprearance. I wept for that. Coconut has been abandoned by all who were supposed to love him the most.

My mother was in attendance……the same woman who never even wanted Dave and I to participate in foster care. The same woman who said she just couldn’t get close to these kids and risk her heart if we lost them…..yet, there she was today, representing a child who stole that heart within the first few weeks of his arrival into our lives. As a matter of fact, all of the people who Dave and I are blessed to have in our lives, have not only embraced our foster care ministry, but have prayed to our heavenly Father on these children’s behalf. They have taken the time to make a difference in their lives, in the name of the One who sacrificed all for us. It is humbling and appreciated.

One step closer to making Coconut legally our son.......but, no matter what happens, he will always be a son of mine in my heart.

Today, we are one step closer to making Coconut legally our son…….but, no matter what happens, he will always be a son of mine in my heart.

So, as of today, Coconut is an orphan no longer. Dave and I have become his parents (not yet legally, but prayerfully soon). Our children have become his siblings. Our family has become his family. Our friends have become his friends. Our church has become his church……and all of that is a beautiful thing. Yet, that is not the best part…….Praise God, as our Lord and Savior has become his Lord and Savior! When we kissed all of our kids goodbye this morning, including my two nephews who spend their summer days with us, I asked the four oldest ones to be in constant prayer while we were in court. When I got to Coconut, I could barely choke out the word ‘goodbye’, but he asks me while throwing his arms around my neck, “I pray to God too Mama?” With the tears streaming, I look into his golden brown eyes and whisper, “You pray too baby”.

We love you Coconut!!

We love you Coconut!!

God heard that tiny prayer today, along with all of those who have taken his case into their hearts, and we couldn’t be more grateful. I pray for Coconut’s biological parents continually, in hopes that they will submit their lives to Our Father, but for today I will simply rejoice in this victory. Today, I will weep those sweet tears of relief.

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13 responses to “Today Was A Good Day…….for Terminating Parental Rights

  1. How proud I am of my baby girl and my son (son-in-law, but he is my son) God has truly made ya’ll fishers of men! I love you both so much!!!!

  2. Well Praise the LORD!! Coconut is blessed beyond measure to have you guys in his life! Praise GOD for the good report!

  3. Although I am the other side of the world in Australia I know exactly how you feel! The huge array of feelings I feel at different times for the biological parents of my foster children can be overwhelming at times. But The Lord is bigger than the situation and will continue to sustain us at all times. Thank you so much for your blog, which I found today, it is uplifting! I am a Christian mum of 7, one day a week Kindy teacher, and we have been foster parents for 6 years. We absolutely love our life and would not change it at all. PS: we drive a small bus!

    • Wow, Australia…..that’s awesome! You absolutely must send me a picture of your bus, I would love to see that. What a pleasure to hear from other foster parents who let God lead their lives…..and it is especially exciting to hear from ones who live on the complete opposite end of the world! God bless 🙂

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