Yep, They’re All Mine……..They Just Have Good Color

Tarzan+kala+holds+baby+tarzanWhen Cocoa Bean was a few months old, an older member of our church was “Ooing” and “Ahhing” over him. I was giggling inside because she kept stealing glances at me, and then back at him. Like many of the people who stop to coo with and tickle our little bundle of joy, they are not quite sure what to make of our relationship. Finally, she said, “Wow, he has good color!”.

Well, as it turns out, they all have good color…….not a single child in my home has my pasty translucent skin, nor my vibrant red hair. My biological children have their fathers beautiful skin…..creamy white in the winter and golden in the summer. As a matter of fact, they resemble me so little, that some have asked if they are adopted! Coconut’s skin is almost the exact same way, with a little Samoan color added in. Cocoa Bean, Mowgli, and Kiwi are all half white and half black, and that makes for some of the most gorgeous skin known to man……pretty hair too. When people take a gander at all of us together, what a melting pot they must see πŸ™‚

baby_mowgli_by_fernl-d32qailThat is truly one of the beauties of foster care…..it breaks down barriers in the largest way possible. If you ever saw color before, it sure makes you never see it again. Lots of people say they don’t, even use phrases such as, “We are all God’s children, regardless of our color”, but I am sure there are many who don’t mean that completely. Our outward differences have a way of dividing us, whether we mean them to or not, and it is hard to completely look past them…….except in foster care and adoption. When you have a child in your home that you are completely and wholeheartedly responsible for, magnificent changes take place…….you become color-blind.

Coconut is half Samoan, but I forget about it all the time. In my heart, I am his mother through and through, and Dave is his Daddy. Therefore, I don’t look at him as half Samoan, I look at him as having half my qualities, and half of Dave’s. He has my tender disposition and caring for others, and he has Dave’s sense of humor and smoothness. Cocoa Bean is a mixed baby too, but I have thrown my whole heart into being his mother that it takes a stranger’s weird glance to remind me that I didn’t actually birth him. Even Mowgli and Kiwi, who have been here just a short while, have already imprinted themselves on my heart in such a way that before long, it will seem as if they have always been with us.

Kitten-and-big-dogIn the end, they really are just God’s children in every way. Black, white, purple or blue, I am just so thankful that God has blessed me with the privilege of caring for them…….even if it’s just for a little while. So, for now, they ARE all mine!

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4 responses to “Yep, They’re All Mine……..They Just Have Good Color

  1. I know where you are coming from with this, but as a fellow foster parent and someone who has looked at the long-term research surrounding adoptions and identity, it is important to *acknowledge* a child’s ethnic heritage and not ignore it. We are never color-blind, and I don’t think that is actually what you are saying. Love is love, God binds us together in traditional AND non-traditional ways, but to say “I don’t see your color” is to deny a child his or her unique, special heritage. It is sweeping under the rug something that he or she should embrace as part of God’s big picture for his or her life. For better or worse, skin color is still noticed in our country and how much better to acknowledge and discuss that as your child is growing up. Different shades of skin does not equate to different levels of love or family, and THAT is the message that your raising this child will convey.

    • Hi there…..while I appreciate what you are saying as far as acknowledging a child’s ethnic heritage, that is not exactly what this post was about. Each one of my foster cuties has a unique background, which we fully explore and celebrate. Kiwi’s culture is fully present in our lives every day…….just by doing her hair each morning!! The thoughts that inspired my post was simply the colorblindness that must occur if we are to raise well-developed and equally nurtured foster children in our homes. As you well know from being in the trenches as well, fostering other races can get you crazy eye stares, which brings many questions and hurt feelings from our babies 😦

      It is so awesome that you are a foster parent as well! Have you been fostering children long, adopted yet, LOVE it??

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