Saying goodbye is not a strong suit of mine. When I was a child, even as young as 5, I would sit in my room and cry as I thought of losing my mother and father. Death came to many relatives when I was small, and while I’m glad that I learned early on to value life, it made for many a gloomy thought growing up.
The saddest thing as a parent, for me, was when I witnessed my daughter crying over the same thing, at exactly the same age. Her grandmother had just died, and once she was introduced to the concept of death, she was never the same. The fear of losing one of us, not knowing what Heaven was truly like, and having no control over either was too much for her to bear at times. Although I knew what she was going through, I was useless to help her.
So why then, did we deliberately and with sound mind and body, sign up to take care of other people’s kids…….KNOWING that we would not be able to keep all of them? God. Plain and simple.
When God calls us, we are to listen. If we do not like parts of the call, we are still to listen. If parts of the call scare us to death, still we are to listen. I loved the parts of growing our family, having little ones in the house again, raising servants of Christ, and until today, things have been going great. Until today……..
Goldilocks had a court hearing today. She doesn’t actually go to court, as her GAL (Guardian Ad Litem, which is a fancy way of saying a juvenile’s lawyer) goes on her behalf, along with her social worker. The docket for today was taking stock of where things stand for her parents and relatives, and whether any of those people were able to gain custody yet. There are several people who want Goldilocks, and we knew when we took her in, that it was only a matter of time.
That’s a funny word in the Foster Care world……TIME. She was only supposed to be with us for 2, maybe 3 months. She’s been with us for 9 months and counting. The counting part is how many of her heart strings continue to wrap around my family’s hearts. I know for me, no pair of scissors in the world will disentangle them from mine. I will just have to bear it when she goes.
It could be today, but most likely it will be in the coming months. As a matter of fact, it should be right around the time when Coconut goes to court. With our foster son, we have always known that it could go either way……adoption or return home. Let me just say, that with this child, my whole family will be a puddle of tears if he has to leave us. Nurturing a child from near death to happy, healthy and thriving, is no joke. He is forever encased in our very souls, and nothing will be able to change that. It still doesn’t change the fact that only God will be able to get my family through his departure.
But that brings my point full circle…….back to God. If Goldilocks has to leave this week after 9 months, or Coconut has to leave in the fall after 17 months, then we know that it is God’s Will. God’s Will is a pretty powerful thing, and it’s a thing that Servant’s of Christ must abide by……all the while asking God and Christ to help us make peace with it. I know that He brought us to Foster Care, and that He will keep us safe and protected while we go through all of the changes and transitions that occur with this ministry, even if it still scares me to death.
So, great big world, please pray for my family, and the families of these two foster cuties……..because either way, one of us gets to take care of these precious souls, while another one of us will have empty arms. Who ever said that following God’s path was easy?