The same is true for today’s girls. Although, instead of super short skirts with tights, its super short shorts with bare legs. Because I home school my daughter, I don’t have to worry about what she’s wearing like my mother did with me. Now, that is not to say that Casey was not heading in that direction when she was attending public school. Skinny jeans were the fashion right before I pulled her out of school, and I allowed her to wear them. Why? Because they were what all the girls were wearing at the time and I was allowed to dress like all of the girls in my school when I was her age. I did draw the line at shorts with writing on the girl’s bottom. I did not think it was appropriate for things to draw attention to a young girl’s behind. I know now that I was just justifying my behavior.After God spoke to me about taking back my children, it seriously opened my eyes to all the things that we were doing that we had thought were ‘normal’. ‘Normal’ for who? The world? Well, God says not to be of this world. I am pretty sure that he would not approve of the way my daughter was dressing…..and to be honest, the way I dressed could have used an overhaul as well.
I wasn’t wearing short skirts anymore, but I did wear shirts that allowed my cleavage to show. I guess I just thought it looked good. What I did not realize was that tempting men to look was not only wrong for me to do, but it was also causing men to stumble. I didn’t want my daughter to fall into the same habits, so what to do? Well, like everything else I needed to know about this new lifestyle…..I looked to the Bible, the Duggar’s and families that I researched on the internet that were ‘modest’.
There is a lot of information about being ‘modest’ on the internet. Long skirts past the knees, blouses and shirts that have three-quarter sleeves and come to the neck. There is not, however, a lot of stores locally that carry the long skirts. My daughter and I shop almost exclusively from thrifts stores, so eventually, we were able to acquire a wardrobe of modest skirts. The shirts were not too hard to find , as you just had to wear things that cover up the bust.Now, Casey and I wore long skirts for almost a year. It made us feel different…in a good way, at first. Sort of like becoming a Little House on the Prairie girl. The slap of the heavy denium fabric on my shins and ankles reminded me every time I took a step that I was being modest. My daughter’s skirts were a little shorter, falling just below her knees. She found it a little difficult to run around and be a teenager, so we got her some leggings to aid in her flexibility. That helped for a time.
After a while, simple things that we used to do, such as riding a roller coaster (which we love to do), became a hindrance. I always reminded myself of a conversation that Jim Bob Duggar had with his daughter Jana when she was laying a tile floor. He asked her, “Can you do that in a skirt?”, and she replied, “We Duggar girls can do anything in a skirt”. So we really, really tried to do what we could to embrace this new way of dressing. We wanted to be modest after all, and if we went back to pants, we sort of felt like we would be letting God down.Our friends and family, who already thought we had jumped aboard the crazy train for taking the kids out of school and home schooling them, really went bezerk when we started the ‘skirt thing’ as they called it. I thought they were going to stage an intervention. They have been very supportive of every change that we had made thus far (even if they didn‘t understand it), but the ‘skirt thing’ just put them over the edge. Every time I was with my extended family, my daughter and I had to hear all of the reasons that wearing a long skirt was unnecessary. It almost put a wedge between us and the rest of our family!
Finally, when we were approaching our year anniversary of wearing long skirts, Casey and I sat down to talk about our feelings on the journey we had undertook. We had a lot of feelings. There were some pros to the skirts, but ultimately, we decided there were too many cons. Here was our list:
Pros: We ‘felt’ modest. They didn’t draw leering eyes from males. We wanted to be ‘good’ in the eyes of God.
Cons: They drew lots of stares from everyone……and I mean everyone! We felt different, and not in a good way. We did not feel encouraged by our family that we were doing a good thing. My husband really didn’t like that I wore long skirts. We felt as if we were the stereotypical ‘homeschoolers’ with the long denim skirts, and most people could not get past the skirt to talk to us as Christian homeschoolers, not fanatics.In the end, we decided we were modest. In our hearts, we did not want to draw unwanted attention from males. However, we did not want to draw unwanted attention from gawkers of the ‘skirts’ either. We do not wear tank tops in public, my daughter’s shorts have to come mid-thigh (absolutely no short-shorts), no cleavage may be shown, no tight shirts and no tight pants. Our bathing suits are modest to our standards. I wear a skirted suit, and my daughter wears a one piece or tankinis (no two-pieces or bikinis). I do not wear shorts in public, only capris and long pants, and my skirts go past my knees. We feel that because we truly believe we are being modest, that God will be pleased.
Here are the verses that we found regarding women’s modesty:
1 Timothy 2:9 Likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works.
1 Peter 3:1-4 Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct. Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.
1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
I really like 1 Samuel 16:7, where it says do not look upon his appearance because the Lord looks on the heart. If people looked at my heart and my daughter’s hearts, they would see that we want to please God, and wearing a skirt won’t make a bit of difference!