Gil and Kelly Bates Daughter is Courting……..Chad Paine and Erin Bates

Gil and Kelly Bates......proud Christian parents to 19 wonderful children.

Gil and Kelly Bates……proud Christian parents to 19 wonderful children.

The Bates family is perhaps one of the sweetest families in my opinion……and no, I have never met them so this opinion is all based on what I have read and seen on television. Yet, there is a humbleness about them that makes me think that they are the real deal. I find myself praying for their family, and hoping that the time spent on the Duggars show and their own show, “United Bates of America” will not have an ill effect on them. Courting and dating also comes to mind when I think of the Bates. Just like the Duggars and their older children, the Bates believe that dating should not be played at and that there should be no physical contact such as kissing before marriage.

This image came from  which is from the ATI institute.  Check it out!

This image came from which is from the ATI institute. Check it out!

We all know that this is very hard in today’s society. Finding a life mate is hard enough without adding the pressure of no physical contact and agreeing to abstain from such contact until the wedding night. The toughest part, however, is that there are no specific guidelines on courtship in the Bible. He is very specific on sexual relationships: Hebrews 13:4 says, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.”. He also talks of youthful temptations: 2 Timothy 2:22 – Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Difficult as it may be in these times, listening to God’s Word and following Christ was never touted as easy according to the Bible. It can be made less worrisome for these youths by trusting God completely with their lives, honoring their parents and their God fearing advice and listening to that still, small voice that will assuredly guide them if they would but listen.

Chad Paine and Erin Bates after entering into a courtship relationship.

Chad Paine and Erin Bates after entering into a courtship relationship.

Anywho, I was very happy when I learned that Erin Bates, the second oldest daughter, is in a courtship relationship. If this courtship holds true and ends in marriage, it will be the first for this family. After Zach Bates and Sarah Reith ended their courtship, I think the Bates family is a little more leery about posting their children’s relationships. Kelly Bates had this to say when one of her readers had a question about courtship:

Dear Kelly, If I may ask, what is your family’s understanding of Courtship? I have had several close friends of mine go through courtships but each family perceives it differently. One of the family’s viewed it like the couple was practically already engaged. Another family views it as just a time to strengthening the friendship and see if they were interested in each other? What about your family?

Josiah Duggar hammin' it up with Erin Bates and Chad Paine.

Josiah Duggar hammin’ it up with Erin Bates and Chad Paine.

Kelly answered on January 18, 2013 at 1:26 am

Dear reader,
You are right, there are so many differing views about courtship. To make it more confusing, there are hundreds of books, DVDs, and speakers to promote their opinions. There can be much wisdom in the counsel and experience of others. It can also be dangerous, because it is “opinion,” not Scripture. If you’re not careful, you get the mindset of “Do things MY way, or it’s not the RIGHT way!” Since there are no clear guidelines in Scripture for how to date or court, and each example of marriage is completely different, we suggest you learn as much as you can from the experience and counsel of others, but foremost, get alone with God to seek His direction for you as an individual.
Note… this is purely opinion: I don’t think courtship or engagement is binding like marriage. Marriage is a covenant with God. Courtship and engagement are a means to prepare for marriage. What if a person has hidden sin that he/she has lied about deliberately? What if the couple realized they really had different goals and beliefs, after more in depth communication? What if one of the person’s involved “puts up a front” during the getting to know each other process, but later the “true self” comes out?… At the same time, I think there needs to be a definite sobriety about entering a courtship. No one wants to end up with a lot of relationships that end in heartache. I think that’s why we all took a little more time getting to know Chad and his family before prayerfully agreeing to continue the relationship. Love, Kelly

You can read more about Erin’s courtship and the rest of the Bates clan here:

The Paine Family has their own blog at  Chad Paine is second row first from the left (in the aqua shirt)

The Paine Family has their own blog at Chad Paine is second row first from the left (in the aqua shirt)

The young man’s name is Chad Paine, and according to his blog, he has known Erin for three years. He wrote a post about his birthday, and he said some pretty sweet things about Erin:

God has blessed me so much! There are so many others that I could thank…teachers, preachers, friends, elders, peers…the list could go on forever! So many people have invested in my life! It’s almost overwhelming when you step back to think about it! But there is one person that I did want to thank. It’s a person that I have known for only a little over 3 years…but I feel like I have known her all my life… =’)…Yes…it’s Erin, the Girl of my dreams and the one that has challenged me, encouraged me, prayed for me, and loved me in a way that truly overwhelms me! God has blessed me so greatly! This was the best birthday that I have ever had! Erin was able to come and she actually really surprised me with a visit! It was a really sweet time of fellowship and fun with the family!

God is so good! And I can’t help but marvel at His goodness and what He has done for me! He has always been faithful! He has always been there for me when I needed Him! Even when I am unfaithful, yet He remains very Faithful!!! I can’t wait to see what this new year holds!

You can learn more about Chad and his family here:

D.J. and Casey retrieving pond water for a Biology experiment.  They are such goofballs, but I sure do love em'!

D.J. and Casey retrieving pond water for a Biology experiment. They are such goofballs, but I sure do love em’!

Although we should try not to worry about our children’s lives, it’s hard. I know that God has a plan for both of my teens, and that I must sit back and trust Him to reveal it to them in His good time. Pray for me as I strive not to stress over whether my children will face many obstacles in their quest for a marriage partner. It is still very new to my family, following God’s Word whether or not it complies with the way of our world. I know that my children are also anxious over whether they will be able to find like-minded people who also desire to live for God in every aspect of their lives. So far, we are still without a church home, and those like-minded people have yet to appear in our neck of the woods.

Alyssa Bates and John Webster.....are NOT in a courtship this time :-)

Alyssa Bates and John Webster…..are NOT in a courtship relationship……at this time :-)

IMPORTANT…….PLEASE READ: If you visit the Bates family website and read their posts about Erin and Chad, you will undoubtably see a picture of another Bates daughter standing to a very handsome gentleman; Alyssa Bates and John Webster. Like me, you will probably assume that this young couple (as they are standing together, as a couple posing for a picture) is also in a relationship. However, after a little digging, I have found out that this is not the case. Here is what Kelly had to say about her daughters’ Alyssa and Erin:

Kelly April 30, 2013 at 6:30 pm

Dear Reader,
Alyssa isn’t courting yet. We’re anxious to see how the future unfolds. Right now, she’s just enjoying getting to know John better!We greatly admire John and always look forward to the time we spend with him or his family members. I was greatly impressed by the closeness they all share. Each week, the brothers play basketball and softball together on a team- the married families, and the unmarried Webster children – so they stay very close! I love that!
Erin graduates in December, so I imagine they’ll be picking their month soon afterwards. We keep hinting for Chad to take a trip to the jewelry store…lol! Love, Kelly

Soon we will see John David, Janna, Jill, Jessa and Jinger follow in Josh Duggar’s footsteps with their own ‘dating with a purpose’ and then marraige. Josh and Anna Duggar are already on their way to having three kids (and about to embark on a journey across the country for Josh’s new job in Washington D.C.), as Anna is pregnant with their third child as we speak. Zack, Michaella, William, Nathan, and Alyssa will soon be courting and marrying as well. I pray for them on their exciting futures!

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

6 responses to “Gil and Kelly Bates Daughter is Courting……..Chad Paine and Erin Bates

  1. Can I email you just to ask you a few questions? I know you are a busy mama and I want to respect that :) (not intended to be posted in comments, just not sure how to contact/email you)

  2. Fame and celebrity changes people in ways that are unexpected. The Duggars, for example, appeared humble for years but when it became apparent that Josh’s past was going to cost them their show they looked desperate to keep it. Now they’re mugging for camera time at the Bates recent wedding.

    While I happen to like the Bates, some of the kids appear to have thoughts and opinions of their own unlike the Duggars, fame and celebrity will change them as well. Getting recognized in public is addicting, having legions of sycophants tell you how wonderful you are changes people for the worse. The money associated with reality tv fame can be addicting, especially for a family that has historically not had a whole lot.

    Point being, reality tv is extremely dangerous for Christians because while the Duggars and Bates appear to have entered it with good intentions the unintended, perhaps unknown consequences of being a celebrity outweigh the positives. We won’t even know the full effect of what reality tv has done to the younger kids for many years. I can’t imagine having a camera following little kids around and having strangers know their name is good long term.

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